Had enough?
No longer love your spouse?
Just how bad is it?
Bored?
Resentful?
Contemptuous?
Angry?
Lonely?
Abusive?
Many marriages end in divorce and it has become acceptable in today's society. There is no public approbation regarding divorce... except perhaps from the Church.
Yes and No.
There are specific circumstances in which the Bible allows divorce.
But it was not always that way.
What did GOD do in the beginning?
In the beginning God created man and woman...
in his image he created them.
So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
GENESIS 1:27
24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
GENESIS 2:24
GOD's clear intention was that a man and woman would join together in a Covenant for life.
What distinguishes a marriage from all other human relationships in GOD's commands is the physical act of sexual intimacy and intercourse, which is also a spiritual union, hence the inability to separate.
Unfortunately mankind did not follow GOD's commands and the ancient Romans and Jews divorced at will. In Jewish society a man could divorce his wife for any reason, even if he disliked the meal she cooked. In Roman society a woman could also divorce her husband.
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
MATTHEW 19:3-6
At first glance it would appear that Divorce is not allowed... but they pressed Jesus further:
7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.
MATTHEW 19:7-9
Given that divorce was so prevalent, Jesus was limiting the circumstances in which divorce could take place and offering women some protection, because divorce at that time meant financial ruin for a woman and she would be cast out from society.
Matthew's Gospel was written for a Jewish audience, so only mentioned that men could divorce.
1 And He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; 12 and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.”
MARK 10:11-12
Mark's Gospel was written for the Gentiles, so included women being allowed to divorce their husband's for sexual immorality.
Hence the Bible is clear... divorce is allowed if your spouse commits adultery.
Abandonment.
What does that mean?
If a Christian marries a non-believer, and the non-Christian deserts the Christian, then a Christian can divorce them.
Hence, a Christian cannot instigate divorce against a non-believer without already having been separated from the non-believer, because the non-believer is saved via marriage to a Christian.
12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
CORINTHIANS 7:12-16
The Bible warns against being unevenly tied, that is, marrying non-Christians.
14 Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship do righteousness and iniquity have? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? 15 What agreement does Christ have with Belial? Or what portion does a believer have with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement does a temple of God have with idols? For you are a temple of the living God. Even as God said, “I will dwell in them and walk in them. I will be their God and they will be my people.”
CORINTHIANS 6:14-16
The warning is made but humans have free will.
We can obey GOD...
or sin.
We can follow GOD's wisdom...
or not.
The choice of marriage partner is one of free will.
GOD has his preferred partners for us, but we are free to choose whomsoever we like.
However, the Bible warns that there can be consequences for such decisions.
One of them being that it will be more difficult to live with a non- believer and they will face that difficulty also.
If the unbeliever chooses to leave a marriage to a Christian... then divorce is allowed.
The Bible does not mention this specific circumstance.
However, is it likely that a loving, holy, all powerful GOD wants his children to be abused?
No... and this is the subject of a future post.
Let us pray.
HOLY FATHER, GOD IN HEAVEN, LEAD US IN YOUR WILL AND HELP US TO CHOOSE PARTNERS THAT WILL GLORIFY YOU. HELP US LORD TO LIVE IN PEACE WITH EACH OTHER AND LOVE EACH OTHER AS YOU COMMAND. FOR THOSE OF US ENDURING PAIN IN OUR MARRIAGES, HELP THEM TO DISCERN YOUR WISDOM AND TO ACHIEVE A LOVING PEACE, WHETHER IN DIVORCE OR RECONCILIATION. IN JESUS MIGHTY NAME WE PRAY. AMEN.